Over the Crater
by Aluishus
Summary: Post Chosen Dawn is sent to Wolfram&Heart DawnSpike friendship to begin with
1. return of the Big Bad

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own the characters, clothing labels, songs etc. You know the drill.  
  
This is after Chosen  
  
Author's Note: This is my first Buffy fic. To tell you the truth I don't know a lot about Angel and I know about Buffy up to the fourth season and then not so much. So bare with me and I'll make any corrections that I can that don't screw up the story!!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dawn's POV  
  
I looked out the window peering down at the ground below me. The man in a business suit beside me was snoring noisily. I gave him an annoyed look, which he obviously didn't see because his eyes were closed. I sneered at the drool that was dripping down on his clean jacket and turned my attention back to the window. That's when I saw the crater that used to be Sunnydale, my home, my life. It had been a few years since we defeated the First. I remember looking over the large hole and asking Buffy what we were going to do now.  
  
That was before we moved to Rome then to England where Buffy really started working on her 'Slayer Empire' as I like to call it. "Buffy" I scoffed softly to myself. I scowled and slid the window cover shut loudly causing the man beside me to wake. He looked angry that I woke him but I just shrugged it off and went back to my thoughts.  
  
Buffy had started out her new life. Her new life, it was like this beautiful, perfect diamond like on her engagement ring but with one spot. That spot was me. I didn't really fit into her plan especially since I started to 'act out' again. She thinks that it's because I don't like England, my school or something like that. She asked me if it was because I've been missing California and if I wanted to live there again. That was when I realized she would be happier if I was out of the way so I told her it was because I missed "home" that was the word that I strategically used to seal the deal. She did look upset but I knew that it was best for her if she didn't have to deal with a rowdy teenager. We had been drifting apart since we've left Sunnydale or should I say that big ditch in the ground?  
  
Of course I still love her and know that she loves me. God she died for me! That's why she deserves to have a happy ending. So I've willingly been sent to LA to be baby sat by Angel at Wolfram and Heart.  
  
I breathed in deeply. It had been so long since I've seen Angel. But I wasn't surprised when he said he would take me in, he would do anything for Buffy. Thinking of vampires that would do anything for Buffy reminded me of Spike. He did so much for her, looked after me, got a soul, and died for her. I like to think that he also died to save the world but I know that it was just to save Buffy.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I got off the plane and went to get my bags letting my legs get used to walking. It had been a long flight. I saw Wesley and some thin wavy brown haired girl; she smiled broadly when she saw me approaching.  
  
"You must be Dawn," she said extending her hand "I'm Fred".  
  
I put down one of my suitcases and shook her hand "Hi" I forced a smile.  
  
"Hello Dawn" Wesley greeted "You've grown, how old are you now?"  
  
"Eighteen" I answered there was an awkward pause.  
  
"Here let me help you with those" he took the suitcase that I had put down and another from my hand.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I entered the large Wolfram and Heart building. Some people had taken my bags to where I was supposed to be saying. It just hit me that I had no idea where that place was. Wesley led me to an elevator, when the doors opened again my jaw dropped in shock. The floor was filled with all sorts of demons speaking strange languages. There were also humans, and a few vampires.  
  
"This way Dawn" Fred motioned to stairs. I closed my mouth and went up the stairs trying to collect myself and shake off the shock. I should have expected something like this but I never thought it would be so . . . big. But that was just the first of my shock the next were going to be even larger.  
  
"Harmony?" I asked as we reached the receptionist desk outside of Angel's office.  
  
"Hi" she smiled brightly and got up from her chair waving.  
  
"Why are you working for Angel, you're evil?" I asked confused  
  
"Hey! I resent that! I haven't been evil for a really long time" she pouted sat down and started to work on her nails.  
  
"Does she have a soul?" I asked Wesley as went over to wooden double doors. He shook his head as he opened one of the doors for me. I walked in and saw Angle sitting at his desk turned towards the windows with sunlight pouring in . . . wait sunlight. He isn't a pile of dust.  
  
He turned and put on his lop sided grin. "Dawn"  
  
"Angel" I nodded and then darted my eyes to the window and back to him. His grin widened.  
  
"They're special windows there in the whole building and the cars" he told me noticing my confusion.  
  
Suddenly the doors burst opened again. "Hey Peaches we need to talk. Nibblet?"  
  
I stood their frozen staring at Spike. He couldn't be here. This isn't real.  
  
"Ok luv I know that this must be strange seeing me here alive or undead," he said calmly as he took a few steps towards me.  
  
I blinked out of my trance and punched his jaw. My fist defiantly hit his flesh he was actually standing in front of me. This wasn't another one of my dreams where he is still undead.  
  
"Oi! What was that for" he asked angrily cupping his face.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me that you were back?" I asked ignoring his previous question.  
  
He looked hurt not just from the punch. "It's complicated Bit"  
  
"No" I smiled and said simply "Its Buffy"  
  
I exited the room. I need to walk, to get away. This was too much for one day. Leaving the people that I've been with my whole life, being sent to live with these strangers, and seeing Spike again. I walked frantically through the multiple hallways. Turning different ways every so often. I didn't care that I probably wouldn't be able to find my way back. I kept going in till I reached a greenhouse. It was mostly filled with herbs that you would use for spells. I went and sat down on an empty bench and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and gingerly took one out and put it in between my lips as I put the pack away and got my lighter. I flicked the little flame and lit the end. I took a deep breath and slowly let the smoke out. I shoved the lighter back into my pocket as I took another puff. Stared at my feet as I saw the ashes fall to the ground.  
  
"When did you start having fags?" I looked up and found Spike standing in front of me.  
  
"Since when did you care?" I blew the smoke into his direction. How could he do this to me, not tell me. Not tell his beloved Buffy for that matter.  
  
"Oh come of it" he scoffed at me and sat beside me. He watched me make smoke rings for a while.  
  
"I missed you," he said. I stopped blowing the rings and let the rest of the smoke out of my mouth.  
  
"You did?" I said cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"Well yeah" he nodded looking back at me "Aren't you going to tell me that you missed me?"  
  
"I guess I did" I shrugged not freeing my eyes from him. He was here sitting right beside me after so long. He hadn't changed at all. Same bleach blond hair, leather duster and ice blue eyes. I had changed though my hair was a little shorter, a darker shade, I filled out in more womanly ways, wore darker makeup and different clothing. At the moment I had on black leather pants and a black sleeveless shirt.  
  
"So what have you been up to Nibblet?" he asked nonchalantly. I smiled at the old nickname. I liked being called that again, it was something that only he called me. The one thing that he gave me and not Buffy  
  
"Not much" I answered even though that was nothing close to the truth.  
  
"How's the big sis?" he asked.  
  
"Ah, yes the real reason you came to talk" I nodded understandingly "Well she's engaged" I smirked "to Brain. He's your complete opposite. He doesn't steal, drink, was never evil, always had his soul, human" I listed watching his face fall and pain flash in his eyes.  
  
"Oh. Good for her" he sighed breaking our gaze he stared down at the floor.  
  
"You know it really is. She's super happy with him" I told him truthfully "He's a great guy. He kind of sucked up to me at first wanting to get on my good side but then he was cool. He reminds me of Riley without the vampire addiction and minus the initiative. Real dependable guy" I couldn't help but take some pleasure in making him suffer. He made me suffer when he died . . . again. But a part of me felt bad for him so I stopped raving about Buff's fiancé.  
  
"When will she get married?" Angel asked from behind me. I wondered how long he had been standing there.  
  
"They don't know yet," I answered not turning to face him but I heard him say, "She's baked. She's cookies"  
  
"What?" Spike asked frowning  
  
"Nothing Dawn we need to talk," he told me. I tapped my cigarette letting the ashes fall and took another drag.  
  
"So talk," I said  
  
"Ok there are going to be some rules. First no smoking" he took the cigarette from my hand and dropped it to the ground and stepped onto it. "Second curfew . . ."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Angel led me with Spike back to his office where a green demon and a good- looking black man were waiting with Fred and Wesley.  
  
"Guys this is Dawn" he introduce "Dawn that's Lorne," he pointed to the green demon with red horns and then to the man "and Gunn"  
  
"Hi" I said stiffly. I wasn't pleased with Angel's little rules and I was going to use all of my power to break every one of them. I knew that they were just passed on from Buffy because they were the same as hers.  
  
"You are going to have to sing for me," Lorne said  
  
"That's a fine 'how do you do'" Spike said "How about 'nice to meet you?'"  
  
"Excuse me. What's your problem?" Lorne asked "You know that I read people by their singing"  
  
"But you are freaking her out" Spike pointed out.  
  
I rolled my eyes "No I'm fine"  
  
"I want you all to look out for Dawn" Angel informed the group.  
  
They were going to treat me like a kid here as well. "Great" I said sarcastically  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"This is your room" Angel opened the door to a fancily decorated room with a large bed and my bags at the center of it.  
  
"Thanks" I entered the space slowly.  
  
"So you know how to reach me," he said I assume he was referring to the phone and how I knew the number.  
  
"Yep I nodded. I've also got the map" I lifted the piece of paper in my hand. He had given me a map of only the parts that I needed to know of Wolfram and Heart.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep tight" he closed the door.  
  
I waited in till I knew that he was gone and peered out the door. The hall was deserted. I quickly went to the elevator and got in. I pressed the 'G' button. There was no way I was going to sleep. For one thing I wasn't tired for another I need to know what LA's nightlife is like.  
  
I stepped out of the elevator and was very impressed at the sight before me. These were beautiful cars. I went over to a red Jaguar and felt it's smooth surface. This would do. I opened the door and sat down in the black- leathered seat and closed the door. I looked for a spare set of keys and found them in the glove compartment. I was about to start the engine when there was a knocked on the window. I jumped slightly at the noise. It was Spike. I rolled down the window.  
  
"Now pet I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out driving at night" he said crouching by the door.  
  
"I can take care of myself," I told him  
  
"Can you then?" he asked, "'Cause judging by your past you usually need the protecting and saving"  
  
"That was the past I've changed" I said he didn't know about anything that I had gone through he couldn't just assume that he knew everything now. I started up the engine and pulled out of the space.  
  
"Wait!" he called I stopped and he jogged over to the other side of the car and got into it. "I'd feel better if I came with. Since it looks like I can't stop you"  
  
"What is the Big Bad going to protect me?" I asked teasingly and then floored the petal speedily driving towards the exit.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Possibly TBC 


	2. that's how you like 'em insane

Thank you all for your reviews!!!!! I am very happy that I got them to tell you the truth I wasn't expecting any!! But Yay! Ok on with the story.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I braked at the exit garage door as it automatically started to open. I tapped the car wheel impatiently with my thumbs when the door suddenly started to close again. I frowned and looked over to Spike who was wearing the same confused look that I was. I stepped out of the car leaving the car door open and went to the metal barrier that was keeping me from getting out of here. It had fully closed by now. I crouched down and tried to pull it back up but it didn't budge. I furrowed my brow and I pushed on the metal and it sagged under the presser. Good it was thin I smiled to my self and glanced back at the car and let out a small gasp when I saw Angel standing behind it holding a converter.  
  
"Where do you think you are going?" he asked placing the little converter back into his pocket.  
  
God he took on the guardian roll pretty quickly. I rolled my eyes and walked back to the car while answering, "Out"  
  
"I don't think so" he scoffed as I slipped back into the drivers seat.  
  
I decided not to respond as I closed the door again and switched gears. One measly vamp wasn't going to stop me.  
  
"Uh Bit what are you doin'?" Spike asked. What is with all of the questions from these guys? They have super night vision they can see.  
  
I backed up the car and I spotted out of my rear view mirror that Angel had jumped out of the way.  
  
"Hold on" I ordered Spike as I switched gears into drive and gave the large door in front of me a determined glare. I hope this will work. I floored the pedal and the car lurched forward.  
  
Spike yelled "Oh no!" as the car hurtled through the flimsy metal. I quickly swerved to the right avoiding crashing into the brick wall in front of me and let out an excited giggle as we sped off. I glanced at the mirror and saw Angel's angry face as he ran back into the garage.  
  
I smiled widely. It had worked and we were both alive. Well in my case alive in Spike's undead. "We made it," I breathed still looking out the front window. I was happy to see it didn't break but the car was a little dented in but it still worked.  
  
"Are you fucking insane?" Spike yelled from beside me he was panting heavily even though he didn't need air.  
  
"That's how you like your girls right? Insane. I'm Marsha Braidy compared to Drusilla," I said turning another sharp corner. I straightened the wheels again and turned on the radio.  
  
"Don't talk about Dru," he growled. It seemed as though his shock had worn off. I had forgotten how he didn't like to talk about his ex. It made me wonder of what else I could have forgotten about him.  
  
"Fine" I agreed and made another turn speeding through a red light.  
  
"Why are you in such a hurry pet? It's not like you have some where particular to go" he asked rolling down his window and resting his elbow on the edge of the door.  
  
"I'm trying to make sure that Angel" I turned again causing Spike to grip onto his door and give me annoyed look "doesn't follow us" I finished. I needed to make sure that he doesn't show up and drag me back to the law firm of his. I had to unwind. I started to observe the streets around me searching for a spot. But it seemed that we were in the business part of town mostly surrounded by tall buildings.  
  
Beyond that we didn't speak except for the occasional comment about the music until I had finally parked the car in a parking lot out side of a drug store.  
  
"Is this your idea of a party Nibblet? Picking up some tissues and shampoo?" he asked when I had stopped the car and had pocketed the keys.  
  
"No but there wasn't any parking where I want to go" I answered simply and climbed out of the vehicle.  
  
"Well if you are going to be all logical about it" he mumbled as he slammed the polished door.  
  
I started off down the sidewalk taking in the sights. I was walking quickly so Spike was left a few feet behind me. I stopped in front of a large mall. It looked like the kind of place that Buffy would have gone to when she was a teenager. I could see her walking around here with shopping bags surrounded by her girlfriends gossiping. I remembered when we lived in LA how popular she was. She was voted to be all the queens of any dance; she had the jock boyfriends, the leeches of friends who were just around her to suck on her popularity. She had quite the social life before she was the slayer. I was really jealous of how cool she was. I didn't have nearly as many friends as she did. It was like-  
  
"What you want to go shopping?" Spike's question pulled me away from my thoughts. I shook my head and began to walk again in till we reached a noisy club. There was a long line out side of it.  
  
I wasn't going to wait. I never waited to get into clubs. I walked over to the front of the line up to a guy who looked around twenty-five years old.  
  
"Hi" I greeted "Do you mind if I come in with you?" He looked me up and down and then shrugged. I took that as a yes and stepped in the line beside him. He wrapped my arm around my waist and we walked into the loud building. As soon as we entered I said "Thanks" and pushed him off of me and quickly got my self into the crowd.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Spike's POV  
  
What is the lil' Bit doing now? She had just snuck in with that bloke leaving me out side of this shack of a club. I have to get in there. Probably has gotten herself in a load of trouble already. I went to the beginning of the line.  
  
"Hey man no budding" a man from behind tried to push me out of the line. I put my game face on and turned to face him growling lowly.  
  
He screamed in terror and ran off down the street. I never get tired of doing that even if I do have a soul. I reverted back to my normal visage as the bouncer stepped aside and I entered the club.  
  
I quickly picked up on Dawn's sent, it had changed from the last time I had been around her it seemed more mature but it was still hers. No doubt about that. I began to follow it. It had guided me into the large mass of people. The smell had become stronger I could sense her she was close by. I spotted her dancing body. I could feel the heat coming off of her as she moved rhythmically with the music. Where had she learned to dance like that? The boy she was with looked like he couldn't quite handle it. She spun her body and noticed me watching her. She then moved further into the crowd.  
  
What does she think she can lose me like she did the Poof? I started to follow her but her smell had begun getting fainter and fainter in till I was by the stage where some rubbish was being blasted into my ears. I dotted my eyes around me I couldn't see her and her scent was basically gone. Bloody hell I had lost her I was just like the Poof. Might as well get a strange bird tattooed onto my back, start sulking all the time and be done with it.  
  
I need a pint. I headed for the bar when I caught Dawn's aroma. I quickly began to follow it once again. It had taken me out through the back door. This was not a good sign. Knowing her she is probably being captured by some demon. My eyes adjusted to the dark swiftly as I started to walk down the back ally I heard male grunts, punches and kicks. I rushed down the ally just in time to see Dawn ram a stake through the man's heart and him turn into dust.  
  
I looked at her and then saw a scratch on her arm. Blood was poring out of it. The smell was intoxicating. I stepped closer to her and took her arm into my grasp.  
  
"You're hurt" I said examining the wound I touched some of the blood on her arm. The liquid warmed my fingers. It had that texture that only human blood could ever have. I thought about tasting it but I knew that Nibblet wouldn't like that so wiped it onto the wall beside me. I could hear her heart pounding; sweat was causing her hair to stick to her face. She was breathing heavily.  
  
I tore my eyes away from her cut to look straight into her eye. Those beautiful eyes but they had changed from the last time I had looked into them. They seemed sadder, wiser like she had seen far too much of the dark side of the world spending too much time in the night.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked softly.  
  
"Saving you?" I shrugged. Oh bloody brilliant response Spike.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dawn's POV  
  
Saving me? Usually that answer would have pissed me off. I would go into a rant on how I didn't need to be saved. I could take care of my self but the reply was just so Spike. The old Spike before he had a soul before he started sleeping with Buffy. The guy who I played cards with while listening to his stories. I found that I was laughing a genuine laugh. Being around him had brought back so many memories of my Sunnydale life of Terra, Anya, Xander, Willow, Giles and Mom. It hurt to think of her. I missed her so much. She used to make everything right. She was so good at taking care of everything, making the pain go away.  
  
My laughter had turned to sobs now. Tears were running down my face. I looked up at Spike through tear filled eyes he seemed confused but took me into his arms. I had cried in his arms many times before. Crying for my mom and crying for Buffy but that was before I wasn't a little girl anymore. I shouldn't be doing this now. How am I going to prove that I can take care of myself if I cry onto his shoulder all of the time? I wiped my tears away and backed away from him. It was too easy for him to take care of me.  
  
"I think we should go no" I whispered so I could barely even hear it but I knew with his vampiric hearing that he did. I turned and started to walk back in the direction of where the car was. Even though I couldn't see him I knew that he was following close behind.  
  
This night was a total bust.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TBC 


	3. Lorne's breakfast buffet

During the whole drive back we didn't speak a word. It wasn't an awkward silence but it wasn't an extremely comfortable one either. When we got back to Wolfram & Heart the garage door had been replaced the new one looked sturdier I couldn't hold back my grin. Once we exited the car Gunn walked up to us talking on his cell phone. "They're back" he paused "no problem" he then hung up and slipped it into his tailored suit pocket.  
  
"You are in so much trouble" he shook his head.  
  
I smirked "What is he gonna do spank me?" I walked past him towards the elevator.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the soon to be dust pile" he corrected from behind me.  
  
Spike? He had just come along for the ride. I pushed the up arrow button and it illuminated the doors opened and we entered the elevator.  
  
"But for now I'm supposed to get you to bed. You have school tomorrow" he continued to tell me as we went up several floors.  
  
I rolled my eyes "Thanks for reminding me" I muttered.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A constant beeping woke me. I lifted my head and searched for the source. I found the alarm clock beside my bed and started to press buttons in till the beeping stopped. I rolled over and closed my eyes trying to get back to sleep when a knock came from the door. I groaned and croaked, "It's open"  
  
Angel opened the door and stood by its frame. I sat up lazily I spotted his black eye but didn't mention it and waited for him to enter and start his lecture. I could practically hear Buffy's voice "Dawnie it's because I'm worried about you . . ."  
  
"Uh Dawn you have to invite me in" he stated awkwardly  
  
I yawned and smiled "Maybe I don't want to invite you in. What happens if you turn evil and start drawing me in my sleep?"  
  
"Dawn" he growled. Obviously he hadn't changed much still not a big fan of the teasing.  
  
"Fine" I sighed, ruin my fun "Come on in Angel make yourself at home"  
  
"Thanks" he slowly limped in and then gave me an uneasy look. He began to pace which looked strange because he was trying to put most of his weight on one leg. I cocked an eyebrow. I was prepared for a little yelling but he hadn't said anything maybe I won't hear a lecture.  
  
"Dawn what you did yesterday was unacceptable" he started to say. I spoke too soon. I sighed and flopped back onto my pillows. "You aren't allowed to sneak out, steal cars, smash through garage doors and go for joy rides"  
  
"You forgot to mention the orgy," I said sitting back up again.  
  
"What?" he stopped pacing and glared at me. I quickly put my hands up in defense and sputtered "I was just kidding" He went back to his speech and I watched him as he resumed his crippled pacing. My eyes followed him back and forth but I wasn't really listening to what he was saying.  
  
"You got that?" he finished and stood by the bed. I nodded sleepily.  
  
"Can I go back to sleep now?" I yawned and stretched  
  
"No you have to got to school... what happened to your arm?" he asked walking over to me. I swiftly covered the bandage with my blanket.  
  
"Nothing" I answered "Oh look at the time I had better get ready don't want to be late on my first day" I got out of bed and went into the large bathroom. I heard him say "Meet me at my office when you're done"  
  
I sighed while leaning against the door and slid down to the floor. I didn't like it here but I hardly like it anywhere. It was foolish of me to hope that Angle would just leave me alone. He is securely fastened to Buffy's leash. I glanced down at my arm and gently started to remove the gauze. It was stained with my blood but instead of seeing the cut I just saw my flesh slightly pinker then the rest of my skin. The magic worked fast, that's for sure.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I got dressed in a short black skirt, tall black leather boots and a lacy red top. I picked up my carrier bag. Notebook...check, pencil case...check, stake.... check. I put on my cross necklace and pulled my hair back. I went to Angle's office saying "Hi" to Harmony along the way.  
  
I was about to open the door to his office but decided to knock. This wasn't my home I couldn't just burst into any room. The door was answered by that green demon...what was his name? Lorry? Leslie?  
  
"Hey Dawn" he greeted and got out of the way.  
  
"Hey...you" I stuttered as he motioned to a table that was covered with breakfast food.  
  
"Welcome to Lorne's breakfast buffet" he smiled and pulled out a chair. Lorne, that's his name. At least I think it's a he. Maybe I should ask but that's a little strange. Then again I'm in a room with a vampire who has a soul, talking with a demon and I'm the sister of a slayer who died and was brought back to life twice. It's a strange world.  
  
"Are you a male?" I asked watching him take a seat beside me.  
  
"Yes are you a female?" he questioned smiling.  
  
I grinned it's good to know that someone here has a sense of humor "Yes I am"  
  
"Good to know" Gunn said entering the room "Angel we have a Zipar demon problem. Do you know how to kill them?" he took a seat in the chair on my other side and picked up the box of Lucky Charms and poured himself a bowl.  
  
"Zipar, no I don't. I can get Wes to research it" Angle picked up his phone and began to punch in a number  
  
"Drown them in goat milk" I said, it just came back to me. I was researching some apocalypse when I stumbled upon the Zipar I remember giggling and pointing it out to Xander. Who knew that information would become useful?  
  
"What was that sweetheart?" Lorne asked spreading jam onto his bagel.  
  
"To kill the Zipar you have to drown them in goat milk" I shrugged and drank the rest of my juice. I didn't eat anything else. I'm not as big on breakfast as I used to be. It's strange how many memories I have accumulated just around breakfast. Mom making my favorite kind of waffles, Buffy trying to make said waffles and burning them, me not being able to have breakfast because the potentials had eaten it all, me making breakfast all by myself which I have been doing for a while now. And of course the early morning demon attacks that happened while I was eating cheerios.  
  
"That can't be all that you're having Nibblet" Spike said from behind me. I turned and saw his split lip and bruised cheek. There were probably other wounds that I couldn't see under his dark clothing.  
  
"What happened to you?" Lorne asked though it didn't look like he really cared.  
  
"Got into a little fight with Peaches" he shrugged "I beat the shit out of him"  
  
"Give me a break I was this close to driving a stake through your heart" Angel argued from his spot behind his desk.  
  
"As if" Spike sneered.  
  
"Oh they're fighting again" Fred complained walking into the office holding Wesley's hand. This took me aback how did stuffy old Wesley get a girlfriend? But I guess that Wesley doesn't act like he used. He doesn't wear the same suits, seems more relaxed, his voice even sounded different. I saw Gunn scowl out of the corner of my eye. I wondered what his deal was.  
  
"Like you could really kill me" Angel scoffed  
  
"You want to take this outside?" Spike suggested motioning towards the door.  
  
"You are so immature" I muttered as I gathered up my things and went towards the door.  
  
"Hold up Dawn someone is going to drive you to school" Angel stopped me. I don't need someone to drive me. I can drive myself. I wish that everyone would stop treating me like a five year old.  
  
"Gunn?" Angel asked  
  
"Fine" he stood and left his bowl half full of the cereal  
  
Oh goodie I get to be baby sat by the man in the suit! I frowned and followed him out the door but before it closed I heard Spike say, "I could wallop you"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
TBC 


	4. underground tellings

A/N Ok I just realized how many times I put Angle instead of Angel!!!! Sorry silly me.

Sorry this took so long to update (I realize it's been like a year)and thank you so much for your reviews! They're what made me continue.

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I sat in the car staring out the window. I spotted a cemetery that wasn't too far from Wolfram & Heart. I made a mental note of that.

"So…first day of school pretty exciting" Gunn piped up from beside me. Exciting? He sounded like Willow but he seemed to be using a less enthused voice. But he is a lawyer he had to go through years of schooling so he must like it.

"Not really but I can see why you'd think so" I shrugged turning my head to see him.

"Nah I hated school dropped out" he shook his head. I furrowed my brow. This didn't really make sense but what in my life did?

"Ok confused you are a lawyer how could you have dropped out?"

"Never went to law school the firm did this operation to put all of the law information into my head," he answered simply.

"Did it hurt?" I asked while scanning his head for a scar.

"Looks like we're here," he stated not answering my question as he pulled into a parking space. "Some one will be here to pick you up after school"

I narrowed my eyes in annoyance "What has Angel become a car pooling soccer mom?"

He let my comment slide past him and with a stern voice told me to go to school.

I got out of the car and took a deep breath and let it out slowly while looking up at the large building before me. It was made out of brick with those drab school windows. I read over the main doors 'Winston High School'. What kind of name is 'Winston'? I lowered my gaze to the people around me. There were a lot of students walking around the campus. Very diverse, I could easily spot the groups: jocks, brains, cheerleaders, geeks, Goths, wannabe Goths, skaters and the 'rebels'. They were all surrounded by the 'normies' as I like to call them, the people who didn't fit into any of the extreme high school categories. They were just normal students going about their normal day complaining about curfews, first day homework that they were sure they'd get, parents, siblings, part time jobs and gossiping about the opposite sex. I longed to be one of them to just fit in, have friends, a good 'clean' boyfriend, go to school, make mom proud but I've learned there's no use in wanting things you can't have, a leopard can't change it's spots and I can't change my…well what ever it is I can't change it. The best I can do is embrace it. I turned and saw Gunn still parked by the school staring at me, like a faithful watchdog.

I walked towards the front doors and as I opened one of them checked to see if Gunn was still there, and sure enough he was. "Woof woof" I muttered as I entered my brick prison of learning.

I considered just walking through the building to the back door and bailing but making an effort won't hurt…hopefully.

I wandered down the crowded hall when a tall blond guy stopped in front of me. He wore a lettermen's jacket and a wide grin.

"Hi" he greeted in a deep voice, "I'm John".

I smiled innocently "Hi John. You're blocking my way"

"Your new right?" he asked ignoring my not so subtle request for him to move.

"And you'd make a better door then a window" I answered with the same smile still upon my face.

He laughed, low and deep. "Your spunky I like that" he said bringing his hand up to my cheek.

As soon as his fingers touched my skin I grabbed his throat and pushed him up against a line of lockers. I could see all of the students in the hall backing away from me and giving strange looks, some frightened. I ignored the masses and looked into John's face.

"If you ever touch me again, I'll break every bone in your hand" I said sweetly. Letting go of his neck I walked down the rest of the hallway looking straight ahead, trying not to pay attention to all of the students staring at me.

I certainly started this school year off on a good foot. I walked through the school to the back doors and out into the sun. I figure might as well skip, I'm going to get into trouble anyway. And I don't really feel like receiving a higher education today.

* * *

I went to survey the city. Going to that one club last night, frankly didn't cut it. I needed to find out what the underground life was like. I was going to be spending a lot of my time with the scourge of the night, might as well find out what their haunts were.

I remember Angel saying something about the underground tunnel he uses to get around. There must be an entrance somewhere…wait. I spotted what looked like a manhole over by a park.

"About time" I muttered shoving the lid off. I climbed down the metal ladder and began exploring the tunnel.

It was a brink cylinder, with a small stream of water trickling down the center. Judging by the flow of the water, the path went down…which meant it went deeper…which meant it was dark…. so higher possibility of finding demons if I followed the water. So follow the water I did.

The only light came from the dim lamps lining the top of the cylinder. I walked carefully in the shadows, forcing my senses to become more aware of my surrounds. That's when I heard someone…something behind me. It's footsteps sounded human…light even like it was moving with an unnatural grace, the kind only certain vampires can possess. I sped up slightly pulling a stake out of my bag and turned a corner.

Leaning against the cool stone, I waited.

As soon as I heard it was in arms reach I swiftly turned the corner and shoved it against the wall with full force. My hand gripping it against the wall I brought the stake to my shoulder and was about to shove it into its chest but froze.

"Spike?" I asked with more confusion then shock.

He relaxed in my grip, "Can't pull the wool over your eyes can I?"

Not breaking my stance I answered "I could've killed you" with all severity in my voice.

"You could've tried," he corrected with a boastful grin.

I gritted my teeth, he was still as arrogant as ever. I took a step closer staring straight into his ice blue eyes and keeping my weapon in pre-stake mode said "Knowing my aim you'd fit into an ash tray before you could say 'bloody hell'"

He lifted himself off the wall; shrinking the space between us to a mere few inches and cocked his head to the side "You wanna dance, do you?"

I tightened my clasp on my stake in response to his offer. I knew he was expecting me to back off or blush, that's what I would have done…if I was still fourteen. He always did that; toyed with me, made me squirm. I used to be putty in his hands, he always had the power. But that was then. I stood there defiantly, and not breaking my stare asked "Is that what you want? To fight Buffy's baby sister? Hit me until I bleed? Do you think you could get that old spark back if I fought like her?"

There was a flash of unmistakable sorrow in his eyes. I pushed further.

"Do I smell like her? You think I'd taste like her?" I said all of this with a straight face not flinching as his gaze hardened.

His cocky tone didn't leave his voice "No Nibblet you don't smell like her, of course there is the distinctive aroma that only comes from a slayer but I figure that's just because you were made out of her. And as for the taste I don't fancy tryin' your blood. Not worth riskin' Angel killing me over it"

I kept my face stiff; I wasn't going to show him the emotion I'm sure he was asking for. I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve like I used to, it go hurt too many times when it was out in the open. "Good" I uttered finally. "Wouldn't want you to risk yourself for anything or anyone 'cause the last time you did the girl you love left you without blinking an eye and you burst into light."

I finally lowered my stake and made my voice as even as possible, what I was about to do was painful to say to him but if he didn't care about me then I didn't need to care about him. "Dieing was the best thing you did for her. She hardly ever thinks about you, and talks about you even less. Your name has come out of her lips so few times I'm surprised she can even pronounce it right. I doubt if you even told her you were back she'd do anything about it"

I could see his eyes becoming awash of emotions and he finally leaned back against the wall, like the air went out of his lungs. He dropped his head.

I clenched my teeth before continuing, held myself back from pulling him into my arms. I put a grin to my lips; a mask "You're a faint ghost that lives in the shadows of her memories," I grabbed his jaw and forced him to look at me, to see the forced composure in my face, making him believe "Memories she's making herself forget. Now she can finally be happy with you gone"

The anger in his eyes came quickly and faded with the same speed. I was prepared for him to fight but he didn't. I didn't know what he was going to say. But I wanted to hear it so I stayed and let go of his jaw.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression "What happened to you Dawn?"

"The reason you don't know is because you don't give a shit," I said sternly as I stepped away from him. "I don't care that you only looked after me because Buffy told you to, but you don't need to anymore. So stop pretending to be my friend. It's a waste" I said honestly and turned back the way I came from and climbed up the latter out into the sun before he could respond.

TBC


	5. she's smooth and didn't crack

A/N: I know it has been a while…at least it wasn't as long as last time, right? It's that damn muse it keeps disappearing on me…or there it goes again! No I caught it.

Oh and I don't remember what Dawn's eye colour is…and some say it's blue others green, I looked up a few photos and I can't tell so…if it's the wrong colour tell me and I'll change it the next time I update.

This is my first time writing a fight scene, so I hope it isn't too bad.

Here's the last little bit of the last chapter, just to refresh your memory. It's in Dawn's POV.

The anger in his eyes came quickly and faded with the same speed. I was prepared for him to fight but he didn't. I didn't know what he was going to say. But I wanted to hear it so I stayed and let go of his jaw.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression "What happened to you Dawn?"

"The reason you don't know is because you don't give a shit," I said sternly as I stepped away from him. "I don't care that you only looked after me because Buffy told you to, but you don't need to anymore. So stop pretending to be my friend. It's a waste" I said honestly and turned back the way I came from and climbed up the latter out into the sun before he could respond.

Spike's POV

I went over to the bottom of the stairs, staying clear of the light. I heard her walk away. Blasted sun, if it wasn't for that I would have followed her.

The Bit thinks I don't care about her? No, 'don't give a shit' is what she said. Since when did she start talking like that? Bollocks, I just proved her point. I have no idea what has happened because I haven't been there…that doesn't mean I don't care.

I pulled out a fag and lit it as I walked down the tunnel. This was hers, from the pack Angel confiscated. It was smoother then mine. But everything about her has always been…always was smoother then me. Her dark hair, that flowed like water in the wind, her laugh so full of innocence, innocence that I usually would have wanted to destroy, but didn't with her, even her scent was smooth.

That scent was still on me. The subtle change was the first thing I noticed when she came. It still had unmistakable Slayer undertones, but that was now more predominate. She now smelt like a woman, mature with a hint of cigarettes. That hint is what I was smoking right now.

She had always smelled different from other humans, not because of the Slayer in her but something else. At first I thought that it came from the key, but after she became a 'normal' girl again, it was still there. That was the smooth part, the Dawn part. The part I couldn't get enough of.

That wasn't her only change. The years had treated her well, with a body like…Bloody Hell, if I knew she would have turned out like this…Where was I? Oh yeah the changes.

A big one was her eyes, still the same blue, but they used to be innocent. I looked into them and I could tell what she was thinking…I used to be able to look into them and make her blush. Now they're harsh. They're closed, somehow, I can't tell what she is thinking…and I don't think she's even able to blush anymore.

The shadows have chased away the childhood so many wanted for her but she never really had. Her bubbly personality that used to be so strong was fading before I left, and now has been snuffed out by life. Not to say the Bit doesn't have personality, it's just different and has more bite.

I've only heard her laugh once since she's been here, and now the childish quality of it is gone, but it still warmed my unbeating heart.

Her hair was still smooth though…and so was her scent, it was still on me.

Dawn's POV

I left the manhole uncovered and walked away. My hand was still tight around the stake. I didn't crack. Through all of it I didn't crack. I told him the truth, about Buffy how she is letting go of her past…letting go of Spike. She's letting herself be happy now. No more guilt for the Buffster. I was glad, she deserved to be happy. As for Spike, he deserved the truth maybe now he can start to let go of her and leave me the hell alone, knowing he can't impress her anymore. As if sensing I was thinking of her my phone rang, and 'Buffy' flashed on the screen.

I flipped it open and said "Hi Buffy"

I heard her voice, it sounded distant. "Hey Dawnie"

As she continued to ask about my flight and first day of school, asking that is was my lunch break, right? How were my classes, as bad as hers used to be? And the library? I wondered if I should tell her about Spike, but he didn't want her to know and I doubt she wanted to know either. It would prove me right though, she wouldn't do anything about it. Telling her would just do more harm to her, then me good anyway. She'd probably feel bad about not seeing him or something like that.

"Dawn?" she asked louder

"Yeah?"

"I was asking how you liked it there?" the concern seeped through the phone and into my ear.

How I liked it? I was going to tell her that I didn't really like it but at least I didn't crack, but decided on saying, "The weather's nice"

I waited out side of the school for my ride. A few of the students looked at me, probably recognizing me as the psycho who attacked John. At least I don't have to worry anymore about the label I would get. I scoffed at the thought as a car drove up. Angel was in the drivers seat and he looked pissed.

He looked at me expectantly and I looked at him defiantly. I wasn't in the mood for another lecture from the holy then though, who used to slaughter people by the dozens.

His frown deepened. I pulled out a cigarette and began to smoke it still looking at him as he began to grow angrier with each puff.

"Nibblet just get into the fucking car!" Spike's voice came from the back black tinted widow that was rolled down a slit.

I smiled and tossed the cigarette at a girl who was giving me a dirty look and stood up from the steps. I was glad Spike was there; he'd ease the blow of Angel's rant. I was also a little curious as to what he was going to say to me, considering the events early on that day. I strolled over to the car and opened the back door with the open window and quickly closed it.

Angel turned in his seat and glared at me. I looked at Spike who was leaning into the corner of the door and the seat, his arm was draped across the seat and his other along the door. He didn't say anything as he stared back at me a small grin playing on his lips. He was waiting for me to make the first move, fat chance.

"Do up your seat belt" Angel ordered as he turned around and put the car into gear. He began to scold and threaten uselessly.

I kept on watching Spike as he did to me. Now it became a game of who was going to look away first.

Once Angel got to the part about me throwing John against the lockers, Spike's grin widened. I gave a small shrug.

Neither of us had said anything and only looked away when Angel told me to look at him. I shook my head as I walked through the cemetery remembering the car ride.

There was a half moon in the sky, and I couldn't see many stars; LA lights. I quietly walked through the cemetery looking for the right grave. The cemetery was large, about the size of the biggest one in Sunnydale. I was in the Japanese section; luckily I didn't have to read the stones to tell if the grave was fresh. I pulled out my stake, as I grew closer to the grave I was looking for. There was a mound of soil on top in front of it. The vampire hadn't risen yet. I sighed and tossed my stake up in the air and caught it, tossed again and caught it, looking at the stone's engravings, tossed again, looking more closing wondering how someone could read this. That's when I realized I hadn't caught the stake yet.

I turned I saw a vampire smiling at me. He was a few inches away from me and was holding my stake, which he broke and threw away. He adjusted his leather jacket and said, "I've been waiting for a meal to come along"

He grabbed my neck and pulled me closer to his face. "You're just what I'm looking for", his fangs glistened in the moonlight. I struggled for breath and brought my knee up to his groin with full force.

"You're not my type," I said once he let go of my neck and clutched his testicles. He folded over; I quickly jammed my elbow into his back, attempting to force him to the ground. On the third try he went down. I went for my broken stake but he was already crouching and shot out his leg. I jumped over it and turned to punch him in the nose. He dodged my fist and hit my jaw. I reared my head and stumbled backward. He lunged at me and I kicked him in the stomach. He took a few steps back and then lunged again. I did a jump kick and got him in the head. Once I landed I punched him, hitting my target, his nose. Blood gushed from it and I punched him again. He snarled as I blocked his hand, then his leg, ducking down I grabbed part of my stake. Coming back up I forced it into his chest. He burst into dust.

I rubbed my jaw and turned back to the gravestone to find the new vampire had rose.

"Just in time" I muttered as he came towards me. I went for a roundhouse kick but he easily dodged it and responded with a high kick to my head. I went flying back; my body collided with a gravestone. I scrambled to my feet and began blocking the blows that were constantly coming at me. I didn't have enough time to attempt my own. Man, this guy was fast.

I couldn't stop his fist from meeting my chest; he knocked the wind out of me. He kicked me back, and I hit the same gravestone. I gritted my teeth and jumped back to my feet and charged at him. He swiftly blocked my attacks and began with his own again. He chopped me in the neck as I stopped his foot from colliding with my chest. Chopping me again, I fell to the ground.

I quickly rolled out of his way, got up and jumping over the gravestone I pulled a vial of holy water out of my bra. He began to jump and then I threw the water. It shattered and began to burn his face. I leapt back over the stone and following the water kicked him in the head in midair. I punched him forcing him backward towards the remains of my stake. Blindly he began his attacks. I ducked and dodged avoiding them, in between hitting him bringing him closer to the stake.

Nearing the wood I shoved him to the ground, aiming for the half of the stake that was jetting out of the ground. It snapped under his weight. He began to get up. I pounced on him. Sending him back to the ground. Straddling him I grabbed the pointing part that was left of my stake, and ran it into his heart. He dusted between my legs.

"Bloody hell Nibblet"

TBC


	6. gravestones equals headgames

A/N: Thanks for all of your reviews from all chapters. Thanks to kurt couper for the review it really made me want to update, warn me if my writing starts to suck. And thanks to daybreak for the review, I'm glad you liked the fight scene, I was worried about it.

One favor, could you guys tell me if Angel is really out of character, or badly written? (Or for that matter if any of the others are?) Ok on with the show.

"Bloody Hell Nibblet"

I looked up at him panting. I tossed the remains of my stake away and sat back against my feet.

He had made the first move.

Spike stood there mouth slightly agape, a stake in his hand. I smiled at it, "You weren't going to use that for suicide were you?"

He closed his mouth and glared, "No. I was going to help you out" He walked over to me and extended his free hand and pocketed his weapon. I grabbed his hand, cool in my grasp, nails painted black and let him help me up.

He pulled me to my feet and I was close enough to him to see the details of the scar on his eyebrow. "Who said I needed your help?" I asked cockily. He was still holding my hand.

Studying my facial features, he let go. He stood looking at me and I swallowed catching my breath.

"I do" he responded. My body was covered with sweat from the fight.

"Why would you think that?" I asked gazing into his eyes. I forgot how blue they were. They suddenly shifted to left.

"Because there is a group of vamps right behind you" he swiftly pulled out a stake, and shoved it at me and prepared for battle.

I let out a small sigh and turned to face my opponents. I sized up my attackers; there were five, a butch one with a buzz hair cut, a small one with long hair, one without an eye, another swinging a chain and one female, they were all wearing leather. They must be the first vamp's I slayed gang.

"You take Cyclopes and the chick. I'll take army boy and Shorty" Spike ordered.

"What about-" I was going to ask about the guy with the chain but he burst into dust. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Spike with a crossbow

"That was the last of my ammo" Spike said tossing his weapon aside. The vamps enraged by the lose of their own charged at us.

"Time to party" I breathed getting into my fighting stance. The girl growled and opened her jaws as she leapt at me. I kicked he towards One Eye, they went down like dominos. They quickly recovered. Punching the girl and elbowing the guy I brought my stake up and drove it towards her heart. She blocked and kneed me in the gut, my stake dropped.

Grunting I stepped back and did a jump kick and sent the girl flying. Cyclopes grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me off the ground. I struggled to get away, yanked my necklace off and shoved it into his snarling mouth as it came towards my neck. I clamped his mouth shut as his skin hissed and smoke rose. He let go of me and I stooped to pick up my stake. One Eye gagged and spat out the cross clasping his neck. I ran the stake into his heart; it burst into dust along with his body. The girl ran through the ash and tackled me to the ground.

I brought my knees up to my chest and forced her off with my feet; straitening my legs. I jumped to my feet. She let out a scream as she began to claw me. I knocked her hands away as best I could but she scratched my cheek and my shoulder.

"If we're going to chick fight" I said through clenched teeth, I grabbed her long red hair and pulled her head down. She rammed her forehead into my stomach and I folded over her body. She pushed me against a tree forcing me straight up. She clamped her hand around my neck and pushed me up along the bark. The air was squeezed out of my throat. I brought my nails up to her hand and dug in but she didn't release. I shot my other hand into the braches and broke one off. I stuck it into her chest and she let my neck go. I tumbled to the ground and gasped for air.

"You missed Bitch," she snarled pulling the wood out of her chest and tossing it aside.

I somersaulted, avoiding her foot, and stopped by the discarded branch. I grabbed it and leapt to my feet.

She smiled then let out a yelp of pain then was ash. Spike stood behind the pile and cocked his head to the side "Still think you don't need my help?"

"I was this close to dusting her" I protested throwing my branch his way. He caught it and twirled it between his fingers.

"More like this close to having your throat ripped out"

I rubbed my neck "Shut up Spike". I stomped back over to where I slayed One Eye and picked up my necklace.

"Good come back" he commented sarcastically following me; wiping the dust off his jacket.

I began to put the necklace back on and rolled my eyes at him. As I did up the clasp I felt a warm liquid seeping out from the bottom of my hairline. Frowning I looked at my hands the first three fingers of my right hand were covered in blood.

"Oh shit" I whispered as my legs buckled. The last thing I remembered was Spike's arms catching me and with a sigh sinking into the soft leather of his jacket.

I opened my eyes slowly and was blinded white. Reflexively I shut them then tried again. As my eyes focused I could see I was lying in a bed in a white room. Something was beeping, with each beep my head pounded. I groaned and sat up groggily, the movement made me dizzy.

I tried to become more alert and forced my self through the haze. I saw that Angel was sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed. His arms were crossed and if I thought he looked pissed before, I didn't know what to call this.

"I'm not conscious yet," I whispered, in a feeble attempt to make him go away. I laid back down closing my eyes. The fog became thicker. My body throbbed and the cuts in my back stung under the pressure.

I heard a familiar chuckle. It was Spike; he was sitting at the right side of my bed near my head. I didn't need to see him to know that it was him, I was now aware of the smell of cigarettes and black leather. I opened my eyes anyway. He brushed my hair away from my face with cool ruff fingers; his caresses lessened the pain. The smog began to clear.

"Don't need my help do you?" He smirked. I smiled weakly. Though he wore that arrogant grin I could see the concern in his eyes. Attempting to make that look go away I sat back up. The haze didn't thicken this time.

"How long have I've been out?"

"Long enough for the Poof to decide to chain you in the basement and never let you out" he responded with a scoff as he leaned back in his chair.

"Kinky"

Angel's glare hardened and he got up to leave. He paused at the door "I want to see you as soon as you're out of bed". He didn't attempt to close the door softly, I winced.

"You've certainly got his knickers in a twist"

Unfortunately I was out of bed in a few hours. There's a downside to everything, even magic. At least my headache was gone I thanked pulling on a pair of jeans. Tying up my halter I inspected my face in the mirror; the scratches were almost gone and the bruise on my chin was small. Zipping up my boots, I figured by the amount I've healed I was out for only a couple of hours.

Fred softly knocked on the door "How's it going in there Dawn?" she cooed.

Angel had sent his gentlest henchmen to make sure I'd show up.

"In the span of two days you've snuck out twice, stolen a car, destroyed the garage door, skipped school, attacked a student, fought vampires, been knocked unconscious and that's probably on the beginning" he said standing by his desk.

"Probably" I nodded and the pain in my head returned. I sat down in the chair in front of his desk and tried not to look as tired as I felt. Healing can take a lot out of a girl.

I was expecting his rant to continue and braced myself for his voice to rise. Instead he sat down in his chair and buried his head in his hands. I blinked at him in confusion. He glanced up at me and the anger in his eyes had been replaced by concern and a dull exhaustion. I thought he would last longer then this; thought he would try more scolding and punishments but he seemed to have given up, as if he had been trying to control me for a long time…but I had just gotten there. He mumbled something to himself as he got up and all I could catch was "Conner".

He sat at the front of the desk on it's top to my right. Leaning against his hands gripped at the edges he began to speak, this time softer. "Dawn, I know I can't control you," he seemed to be taking the 'reasoning' route "but I can try to protect you. Buffy entrusted me to do that."

Crap, Buffy. If all this gets back to her then she will flip out. She'll want me back and the whole reason for me to be here is to stay away from her. My plan of reducing her wigging levels would be shot.

"How can I do that when you go looking for trouble? Picking fights with vampires? That's suicidal. You aren't a slayer how did you plan on defending yourself?" He waited for my response.

"How about you trust me on the whole 'defending myself issue', I can take care of myself." I paused "Despite my recent coma, I rarely ever get hurt that bad" I could see he was about to protest so I continued "And I promise not to make the boys cry and go to school enough to pass" I stood up intent on leaving.

"I think Buffy wants you to do more then stay out of a coma, avoid beating up boys and going to school enough," he stated standing giving me a stern look.

I squared my shoulders to his and told him earnestly "As long as I'm generally happy, healthy, passing and alive then Buffy is fine. You tattling on me to her will just stress her out." I chose my next words more carefully aiming for his love of my older sister "She doesn't need that. For everything she's done, she deserves a little peace." I added a slight plead to my voice "Can't you at least try to give that to her?"

"Hey I am trying," he rebutted defensively. I forced myself not to smile; he was saying his lines perfectly. I never thought Angel would be easily manipulated. I guess love truly does blind you.

"Remember that when she calls. Think about how much you want to load on her. Think about how much you want to stifle her with things that she can't do anything about. Think about her need for freedom"

Bull's-eye. By the look on his face he caved…well for now.


	7. how did they find us?

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed! I forced myself through the writer's block for you. Well and also because it was starting to bug me. Surprisingly it didn't take that long to update…compared to before. Anyways thanks you guys. Oh and the last part is for all of you who wanted to know more about Dawn's history. Don't worry you will find out more eventually. And there is a reason behind how she got her 'power', it's not like I haven't figured it out, I have. I ramble, on with the show!

I exited Angel's office with a grin playing on my lips.

"Have a nice little chat did you?"

The smile slipped off my mouth. Why can't this guy leave me the hell alone?

"Spike" I sighed turning around, leisurely I gave him a blank stare.

He was leaning against the wall smoking his cigarette. He watched as he tapped the ash off the end and then brought his eyes up to me. He didn't speak.

God, I was beginning to grow board of this 'Who is going to talk first' game we had going on. "What do you want?" might as well loose some face instead of waste my time.

He took a drag, "Well pet, I was just wonderin' how you learned to fight like that"

Didn't I just have this conversation? "Just forget about it" I turned and continued down the hall. I knew a shadow was following me; it's words came to me from behind.

"I won't just forget about it"

I continued walking, yanking my fingers through my hair. I was tired, not just physically but tired of people bugging me. With each step I was becoming more agitated.

"I know that you can defend yourself well enough, but before I let you go fight more vamps, I wanna know what kind of training you had…and where the hell did you get the strength to fight bloody vampires?"

I gritted my teeth and didn't respond, biting back my answers, my pace quickened. I tried to stay calm, my headache had returned and so had the fog.

"Nibblet, you could've died" his matter of fact tone drifted to my ears. "You were bleedin' from the head"

I was now choking on my replies and my rage. Any attempts of staying cool forgotten.

"Just tell me," he demanded, he voice had risen.

I swiftly spun around and glowered at him, and through clenched teeth asked my question "Why the fuck do you want to know?"

"Why do I wanna know?" he echoed, eyebrows knit in slight confusion.

"Yeah, because if it's because you feel a sense of duty to Buffy, or because you want to impress her or demonstrate your love for her or whatever fucking love sick puppy reason you have, just forget it." I spat out the venom "I already told you it's a waste. She doesn't know and won't ever know" The poison dripping from my lips I waited.

"It's not about the soddin' Slayer" he shot back his anger beginning to match my own. He chucked his cigarette to the ground.

"Then why do you want to know?" I couldn't stop my voice from growing into a yell.

"Because I care about you," he bellowed back, as soon as the words flew out of his mouth, the sharpness of his eyes went with them.

My fury cooled and the haze cleared. The pounding in my head became a meek throbbing pain. My pulse slowed and my muscles relaxed.

"You shouldn't" was all I whispered as I kept my eyes held on his. I said it without a thought.

"Why the bloody hell not?"

My heart twisted with pain in response to the gentleness of his voice. I didn't let it show, my face hardened to keep the emotion in. I kept my voice from quivering as I gave my reply, "You'll end up regretting it or dead"

He lifted his chin slightly with a set jaw. "I haven't regretted it so far and am already dead"

I tried to detach myself from my feelings that were coiling around each other. It wasn't that hard; I had done it many times before. And I had to do it now; my mouth had started to move on the command of my emotions not my brain.

My composure back, I thought about what I was going to say.

"If you care about me, then you'll stop asking" I bowed my head as I turned to walk away; I was first to break eye contact, an act to show that asking him for this was hard. I believed that he had silently agreed.

This time there was no shadow as I went down the hall. I pressed the down button at the elevator. Vampires with souls are rather easy to mould I thought, the same grin was creeping to my lips. I stepped into the silver box, but as the doors began to close a pale hand stopped them.

They opened to reveal Spike. A hand at each side of the elevator doorframe he warned, "You won't get away that easy love. Tried to pull a fast one on me at the end there, almost worked too but don't you fret, I will find out what's been going on"

The doors closed leaving me staring at my empty expression mirrored in the metal.

Ok, I know I told Angel that I would go to school, and thus far I have. Considering last year I basically didn't go. Of course I had my reasons, I was a year older then everyone else, they were all proper English folk, and I had better things to do with my time. I mean how much can you learn in Grade 11 anyway? Apparently from these past few weeks it seems you can learn a lot.

The point I'm getting to is that I need a break. I feel that the 'going everyday for every period' method just isn't working for me. Well, technically I haven't been going everyday…or every period. Ok, obviously I'm not very good at reasoning when it comes to school.

One good thing coming from me going to school though, was that it was easy to avoid Spike. I wasn't going to underestimate his threat, whether or not it was made with his 'good intentions'. He said that it wouldn't be easy for me to keep my secrets, but I'm always up for a challenge.

I saw Scott's beat-up old Honda coming down the street. Defiantly not the most glamorous, but I suppose it suited because I wasn't very glamorous either. The car halted with a screech of tire. The driver's window rolled down.

Scott looked at me expectantly from inside the car. His short black hair curling behind his ears, his green eyes smiled at me though his mouth didn't.

So maybe there was more then one good thing about going to school.

His finely muscled arm opened his door, his pale skin was slightly burnt from the sun and there were tiny freckles sprinkled all over. He finally asked "You getting in or what?"

The passenger's side door was busted. I began to climb over him, but stopped straddling his body; I kissed him hard, grabbing onto his curls. He hands were on my hips, and he tasted of cigarettes. I adored it.

A loud van horn broke our heated kiss. I looked out the back window at an impatient driver waiting behind us. I continued my way to the passengers seat and Scott closed the door.

As I watched him drive carefully through the streets I wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend before I came to the school. He was tall and handsome with a strong nose, soft lips, and of course had those smiling green eyes.

I suppose it was because he was older then the rest of the students, nineteen and was kind of a loner, with only a few friends. Then again maybe he just wanted a different kind of girl then the ones that were floating around in those halls. It would be right around here that the little hopeful voice in the back of my mind would pipe up. "A girl like me" it would whisper. Sadly I've taped that voice up, I now know it's useless.

He wasn't looking for a girl like me in a grand sense, we just sort of fit. We weren't in love and we weren't looking for love either, we were looking for comfort. I guess we found that in each other. He knew that I was no virgin with a schoolgirl crush, just like I knew that he wasn't some blushing boy who was just learning what it meant to be with a girl. We were both beyond that and we both knew it. True love is a crock.

For me there is no shinning knight, happily ever after there is only what I can get. Right now I can get Scott and that's suits me just fine.

I got back to Wolfram and Heart just as the sun was rising; it was Saturday.

The light beside the door to the room I was staying in was broken so for me to get to the door I had to step into complete darkness. I broke free from the shadow and entered the room tossing my bag to the floor. I pealed my clothes off; moist with sweat from fighting and stepped into the shower. Washing off the dirt, blood, battle, Scott, sex and night, I relished in the steaming water.

I wrapped myself up in the soft sheets and scrumptious smell of clean linen. With a sigh I feel asleep.

Under attack, I had to collect myself. A second wave of demons were coming at us. How did they find us? No one knew where he was going to be. Only me. This was supposed to be our place but here they come. I can hear thousands of steps, thunder coming closer. He couldn't fight, he was used to teenage boys not monsters with super strength. We had to get out of here. I hate to run.

My heels hitting the pavement, his bare feet, it was supposed to be a night to remember. It was. Hands held tight we sprinted down the deserted street. Laughter came bubbling out of us as we ran. How did they find us? I guess we were louder then we thought, but we were in love. It was all that mattered, him and me. I could have run with him forever and never tire; I loved it. The wind was blowing my hair.

I pushed my hair aside quickly. I had to find my way back soon. The sun was setting and the quiet was frightening. I frowned at the scrap of paper; it was my only hope of finding the house. Looking down I bumped into him. He was going one way I was going the other. He began to help me, lead me down the twisting streets. I liked him and I thought he liked me. He took the crumpled paper and wrote his number. I blushed. Buffy and Giles came quickly around the corner. How did they find us? We weren't near the house. We had to part.

I found him. He was crying, quietly tears slipped from his eyes. I had never seen him cry before. He didn't hide it. I kissed his face and it tasted of salt. He had a bad trip and I could see his eyes unnaturally glowing against the darkness of the night. We had separated somewhere in the shadows of magic, that hadn't happened before. It was exciting, it was new, it was scary. He clung to me. I didn't know where he went when we parted but if it was anything like where I was I could understand his tears. I was there for him like he was always there for me. The window burst open and our four other travelers came in, the same glow in their eyes. How did they find us? I must have left a trail of magic. He got control of himself quickly and I don't think they know that he had broken down.

He was broken. He was bleeding. He was cold. He was dead. He was still in my arms. He was my debt. He was all I had. They had taken him. I was supposed to protect him. What was the point if I couldn't? It was pointless without him. I'm empty. He loved me and I loved him.

How did they find us?

I woke. It was still Saturday. I got up and got dressed. I looked back at my bed, the harbor of the dreams…nightmares. The pillow was wet with tears.

Maybe there was something in Wolfram and Heart's library, a spell that could take these hauntings. But once I exited the room and went into the shadow beside the door I knew that if I found one I wouldn't use it. In the dark he was all I had.


	8. 20 questions and chess

A/N: I loved the reviews so much that I started writing this right after I read the first ones. Thank you guys so much! You all get treats and I don't know…naked Spikes for all! Or if that's not your thing naked Angels, Ozs, Xanders, Buffys, Dawns, Snyders, ok you get the point.

I hope it's good. I finished it in a day…that is rare because usually I take some time so I can look at it with fresh eyes but not today. It's fresh off the presses. Enjoy!

Spike's POV

"Oi!" I shouted to the green demon a few paces ahead of me. It's embarrassing how long it took me to track this bloke down.

He turned with a smile that soon disappeared once he focused on me. Well, I wasn't jumpin' happy to see him either.

"What do you want?" Lorne asked with a sigh. "I have things to do you know"

I was going to comment on that but I couldn't. It's not nice to make fun of someone when you're going to make them do something for you…I mean ask for a favor.

"The Poof has got me on this project" I started, making sure he knew that Peaches was the one behind this, which he wasn't it was all my idea.

A few days ago after Nibblet and I had the little quarrel in the hall and she had tried to pull a fast one on me, which she failed at obviously because I'm the Big Nasty and too smart for that sort, the Poof came pleading to me. Practically begging on his hands and knees, he asked me to keep an eye on the Bit and find out what has been going on with her. Scarily enough that was what I was planning on doing anyway. So here I am using him to get what I want. I'm very clever that way.

"I'm trying to find out about Nibblet and-"

"What does this have to do with me?" he interrupted with raised eyebrows.

"I was gettin' to that part" I spat, and then calmly added "You've got to read her singing"

"Angel wants me to do this?" he asked after a pause. Honestly the lack of trust in this place...

"Yeah" I answered and impatiently demanded "So are you gonna do it or what?"

He seemed to be mulling it over.

"Bloody hell" I muttered out of annoyance. I knew he was going to do it, his Angel Face had given the order, which I'm not following by the way; like I said it was my idea to find out about Nibblet not his. He's not really in charge; we just somewhat have the same interest. This is very rare and won't be happening again any time soon.

He was still thinking. Must not happen much considering how long it's taking.

"How?"

"Well she sings then you listen and…" I began slowly but he interrupted me again.

"No, I mean how are you going to get her to sing?" he asked, rather smugly I think.

"Just leave that to me. I'll tell you what time and place, just be there," I ordered. I turned and walked away. The easy part was over. Now, how was I going to get her to sing?

Two weeks have gone by and I've yet to answer that question. She keeps on going to school and sneaking off to fight vamps. She's also got some boy toy. I can smell him on her when she comes creeping in to have a shower. She's a shifty lil' Bit I'll give her that.

Pea Green has started to ask when I'm going to execute my plan, rubbing it in good and proper and Poofter keeps on giving me these looks. Of course I'm oblivious to it all…but I'd better step up.

I've been staying away from her for the most part, strategizing. Some would say that I'm invading her personal life but it really is for her own good. I can't rest knowing she's out there risking her life; sleeping has become a problem. Questions keep zooming around my head, I thought having that soddin' chip was bad, this was worse.

I lay in bed my eyes open. I don't toss. I just lie there as the questions crowd my head screaming at me.

How did she learn to fight? Why can she heal so quickly? How can I protect her? What happened to her to make her change this way? What makes her want to fight demons? Where does she go with that bloody boy toy? When did she become so crafty; manipulating the Poof and me? How can she hide her emotion so bloody well now? When did she learn to dance like that? Why does she do poorly in school? Why does she look so sad when she leaves her room in the morning? When the hell did she grow into a woman? Why did she want to leave the Slayer? How come she doesn't want anything to get back to the Slayer? Since when did she start talking, walking, looking and moving like that? When did she loose her virginity? More importantly to who? Where can I find the sod and kill him? What happened to her in Rome and London? Why can't I stop thinking about her?

I need answers.

Dawn's POV

Once I was out of the dark and walked the rest of the way down the hall I had taken control of myself. It never got easier. Night after night it was the same. It was still fresh. He was still dead. I was still alive and empty.

I was itching to kill something, to find Scott…to do anything so I could be distracted from this gapping pain in my chest.

Spike stepped around a corner and blocked my way.

He'll do.

"Spike" I greeted with a smile. I had managed to avoid him for quite some time now. I was starting to wonder when he was going to show up.

"Nibblet" he responded and straightened his shirt. It seemed as if he had just woken up. He wasn't wearing his usual leather coat or a belt and his boots weren't tied very well.

"Long time no see" I grinned innocently and tried to walk around him. He moved into my path with a determined look in his ice blue eyes. He looked kind of tired and his hair was ruffled.

Time to start messing with his head. "Oh come on now Spike. Let's not fight anymore," I pouted and linked my arm through his "can't we all just try and get along?"

Joined we walked down the hall, a surprised look on his face and a satisfied look on mine. "I do hate it so when you're upset" I mocked, it didn't make me any happier but it did make forgetting easier

"What is going on with you?" he pulled away and stepped in front of me again and shoved his hands in his black jean pockets.

"It just upsets me when you're angry is all" I gave a dramatic shrug. "Won't you please forgive me?" I twirled a piece of hair around my finger as I waited for his reply. The confused look on his face almost made the game worth it.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid? I can tell you're poking fun at me" he said as his eyes hardened and the muscles in his jaw tightened.

I let out a little giggle and dropped my hair as I moved towards him. I put my hands on his chest, hard behind the soft cotton, and moved them up; around his neck I wove them together. His skin was cool and the hair at the nape of his neck soft. I stepped closer and my body was an inch away from his; I bit my bottom lip softly.

"Of course I don't think you're stupid," I whispered gazing up into his confused eyes. His eyebrows were nit and his mouth looked like it was between a frown and a smile.

"Can't we just kiss and make up?" I breathed bringing my hips against his. I felt his hands within his pockets clench. I licked my lips slowly and cocked my head to the side.

"I don't like you toying with me Nibblet" he growled, I could feel the rumble in his chest. With a title of my chin my mouth was close to his.

"So that's a no" I confirmed and paused a second. He brought his hands out of his pocket as if to reach for me.

I quickly moved away and walked around him. "That's too bad" I threw over my shoulder as I went down the hall. I turned and stopped. He was leaning against the wall and was looking at me with a sidelong glance. "It would've a blast" his face was put in a frown and I could tell he was unsettled. I turned and continued walking.

I had succeeded. I messed with his head and I was defiantly distracted. He was thrown off and it'll be interesting to see when he was going to try another encounter with me.

In some twisted way it was fun for me. It might have been the satisfaction of me being able to play with him the way he used to be able to with me, getting back at an old crush, fighting back against him trying tear apart my past to see what he could find, but somehow I don't think that was why.

I sat down next to Lorne and poured a glass of juice. He must have been waiting for me because no one else was in Angel's office; the morning meeting was long over. It was closer to lunch now. I sort of enjoyed having a meal a day with the demon, though I was sure that it was something that Angel had arranged.

"She keeps getting trashier and trashier" he shook his head at a celebrity magazine in his hands. I grinned at his disapproving tone. He tossed the glossy paper aside and gave me an uneasy smile.

"What's up?" I asked not trying to hide my suspicions.

"What are you talking about Sweetheart? Nothing is up" he answered quickly widening his smile.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Whatever" I muttered taking another sip of my juice.

We sat in silence. The sun was pouring in through the blinds casting shadows on the floor. I sat back in my chair, glass in hand, and looked at Lorne expectantly. He seemed to be struggling with something; the look on his face was evidence enough. "You'll feel better once you get it off your chest"

He crumbled and the words came tumbling out of his mouth. "Angel has Spike on a mission to find out about your past. Spike asked me to read your singing. He has a plan for tonight. I'm supposed to show up at some bar and hear you, then tell him what I know. I don't want to do it. It's an extreme invasion of privacy and I don't even know why they want to find out or what they're looking for so I'm lost. There must be some reason why you don't want them to know and I respect that. I would have been able to go through with the plan but then we started talking to each other and I got to know you and so I would just feel too guilty doing that. Please forgive me" He looked at me slightly out of breath.

"Feel better?"

"Yes" he sighed slumping back into his seat.

So, Spike has set up his next move and Angel's in on it too. I wish I could be surprised at this, but I'm not. I'm relieved. Now I know what he's planning.

It isn't shocking. Nothing is shocking. I wasn't expecting them to trust me and I sure as hell don't trust them. I don't trust anyone. There was no one left for me to trust. I couldn't even rely on Buffy. She had tried herself to find out what I was doing. The Scoobies had ganged up on me and now the Fang Gang was. It isn't shocking.

I've learned to live without it, trust that is, but I still miss having someone to share it with though. I miss a lot of things; love, truth, faith, hope, and yes trust. I've gotten used to the ache inside me.

It's my move.


	9. what you want this time around

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love you. Sorry that I posted the last chapter like three times, I found errors after I posted and it bothered me. Anyway…special thanks to Daybreak, that Lorne/Spike cahoots thing is a good idea; I'm just not quick enough for that kind of scheme. I'm glad you're enjoying the "Old school" Spike, it's is how I like to think of him.

The song chosen 'The trick is to keep breathing' by Garbage (which I obviously do not own) was a little selfish because that's one of my favorite bands but also I think that some of the lyrics fit well.

Ok on with the show.

The city was blanked in darkness. We were walking down the street engulfed in silence, side-by-side.

I couldn't see very far in front of me, but I didn't let it show. It was cooler than usual for a LA night. I had goose bumps; a shiver ran through me. He sensed it, I could tell because he looked at me. He hadn't done that for a few blocks now.

Suddenly there was shelter from the breeze, leather. He had put his coat around my shoulders in one swift movement. I stopped and looked at him, he turned and faced me. Retracing a few steps he was back at my side. His pale skin almost seemed to glow and his blue eyes shined from the glimmer of the moon.

"Thanks" my whisper was swept up in the breeze but I knew he heard.

"No problem Luv" he nodded as he stared at me.

I put the coat on and continued to walk. He followed beside me. We were both going to try and trick each other tonight. I knew about his plan, he didn't know about mine, but somehow I think he could sense something.

He was taking me to a bar to 'blow off steam', conveniently a karaoke bar. He wasn't worried about me being underage or getting carded. Shyness wouldn't be a problem because if I were a few drinks would solve that.

He found me in a cemetery after I had finished off a few vamps. He made his offer and I took it. I don't think he was surprised, I had been acting so strange around him, he was probably expecting anything.

I was going to ask if we were coming up on the place, but I didn't want to sound too eager, instead I did up the coat. He was now wrapped around me, soft leather and cigarettes. I put my hands in the pockets. I found a pack of cigarettes. I pulled them out. I couldn't read the label so I brought it up closer to my face. They were mine. I wasn't going to question how he got them but took one out. In the other pocket there was a lighter. I lit and took in a drag.

By the time we reached the noisy club my cigarette was done. We hadn't spoken. It wasn't to make a point or to play a game; there would be plenty of that later on. We just walked, it was oddly soothing or maybe that was because I was wearing his jacket. I took the coat off.

We entered the dimly lit bar. There was a middle-aged construction worker belting out 'I will survive'.

The tables were set up around the stage that was at the back; a few prompters on the edge, a chair, mike stand and the graying haired man. The place wasn't very packed but the group of construction workers was making enough noise to fill the place. There were a few couples perched on bar stools along the counter at the side of the bar watching with amused faces. The cigarette smoke made the yellow light smoggy and made the place look warmer. The wooden walls seemed to bend out as if to make room for all of the noise, warm light and the shadows that were surrounding it.

I handed Spike his coat and went to the bar. I ordered a tequila shot and followed it with two more before he came up behind me. It burned.

We found a table at the back more in the shadows. He had bourbon. I had another shot. My muscled began to relax. He was still tense but tried to look calm.

"Come here often?" I asked my mouth warm from the alcohol.

"You could say that" he said it jokingly though he didn't smile and took a sip of bourbon.

I put my upper arm flat on the table then bent the elbow and propped up my head with my hand. I was tingling but not close to drunk. I saw Spike's eyes follow the curve of my body from the chair to along the table and stop on my face. I blinked slowly, my eyelashes heavy.

"Do you want to hear me sing?" I whispered. It was more of a statement then question; I already knew the answer.

"Of course Pet, anything would be better then this Git" again he didn't smile and took another gulp of bourbon.

Not leaving his gaze I called to the waiter for another shot.

I studied his strong cheekbones, his soft lips and rested on his eyes; pale blue. "Get me the songbooks," I requested quietly. If I was going to sing for him he was going to have to do something for me.

I downed the shot as soon as the glass hit the table.

He didn't seem pleased that I was following his wishes. I was playing his game and by the rules so far. His walk to the songbooks was somber. Or maybe he wasn't warmed up yet. I knew that I wasn't, but then again it wasn't my turn.

He came back and dropped them on the table. I sat up and began to leaf through them. I felt his stare cool the warmth from the tequila. It didn't take me long to find my song. It used to be one of my favorites.

He went to tell the women in charge. He came back and reported "You're up after 'Boogie Fever' hopefully we can make it until then" he sneered nodding his head to the next performer. Sitting down he chugged the glass and ordered another.

"Are you trying to impress me Spike?" I questioned a grin tugging at the side of my mouth.

"No, just trying to get through the rest of these songs" he replied giving a distasteful look at the women screeching 'Memory'.

I could've asked why did he want to come here if he hated the singing but that would ruin both of our plans.

"Say you chose something bearable" he heavily put his glass back on the table and returned his eyes to me.

"You've never heard Garbage?" I wasn't really surprised. He didn't answer; I took it as a 'no'. "Well I'll make you enjoy it"

"I'm sure you will Nibblet," he said with a real grin.

We sat not taking, him drinking, me blinking slowly; never taking our eyes away from each other until I was called.

"Dawn Summers singing 'The trick is to keep breathing' by Garbage" the women croaked into the mike. There was faint applause as I walked up to the stage.

The music began and the slow rhythm went out into the crowd. I locked eyes with him. To make sure he knew that I wouldn't see Lorne come at the end in the back and because I couldn't look anywhere else. I took a breath and began.

"She's not the kind of girl

Who likes to tell the world

About the way she feels about herself"

The lights were dim; they used a blue filter. I could see him sitting at the table in the back.

"She takes a little time

In making up her mind

She doesn't want to fight against the tide"

I sang softly but loud enough, never breaking our stare.

"Weakling I'm not the only one

I say never trust anyone

Always the one who has to drag her down

Maybe you'll get what you want this time around"

His arms folded on the table he leaned against them. His face was intensely expressionless.

"Can't bear to face the truth

So sick you cannot move

And when it hurts he takes it out on you"

I swayed my body with the beat, both hands on the mike in its stand.

"Weakling I'm not the only one

I say never trust anyone

Always the one who has to drag her down

Maybe you'll get what you want this time around

The trick is keep breathing

The trick is keep breathing"

Though he was far away it felt as if he were near, maybe it was the shots.

"She knows the human heart

And how to read the stars

Now everything is about to fall apart"

The music was like a pulse and his eyes under his brow electric.

"I won't be the one who's going to let you down

Maybe you'll get what you want this time around

_The trick to keep breathing_

I won't be the one who's going to let you down

_The trick is to keep breathing_

Maybe you'll get what you want this time around

The trick is to keep breathing

The trick is to keep breathing

The trick is to keep breathing

The trick is to keep breathing"

As the music faded away there was a burst of applause. I barely heard it.

He didn't clap. He just watched.

I hopped off the stage and went back to the table. It was then he quickly scanned the crowd. He paused gave a nod and then focused on me. I saw an 'unknown' man leave the bar, Lorne must have followed our plan.

I had reached my seat and slid into it. "You're turn"

"Not bloody likely" he scoffed giving a slightly horrified glance at the stage.

I leaned closer to him "This let's get out of here" I murmured. Grabbing his jacket I got up.

I knew he was following me out of the bar as I pulled on his coat. Back in the night I began to sober slightly.

Again side-by-side we went back the way we came.

"How was I?" I smiled at him, the intensity of before ever looming.

"Bloody brilliant"

My smile widened. People have told me I could sing before, but he never has.

The silence settled back between us.

I saw a store at the end of the block and pulled him in. He gave me a questioning look but I just went and grabbed a six-pack, shoved it at him and pointed him to the cashier.

We exited the store with two bottles open.

"What's this for Bit?"

"The party can't be over this early," I answered taking a swig of my beer. I wanted to keep my buzz.

"You shouldn't mix hard liquor with beer," he stated chugging his own.

"Don't worry about me, it takes quite a bit to get me drunk," I said seriously. I was going to try to get to that point. I couldn't help think that the night would have been nice if we didn't have our agendas behind it.

We staggered back towards Wolfram & Heart stopping in a park to finish off the pack.

He plopped onto a bench and I slumped next to him. The beer at his left side and me on his right I leaned against him.

I couldn't stop myself from asking, my brain was moving slowly like molasses, "Are you having fun tonight?" I whispered, growing too tired to speak normally.

He wrapped his arm around me bringing me more snuggly against him. "You know what Luv, I am" he sighed a sad look coming to his eyes. "You?"

"Yeah" I breathed tucking my legs up on the bench and taking another sip.

"Good" the sad look didn't leave him. I wanted it to go away. So what if we were trying to deceive each other? We were having a good time. My thoughts were fuzzy. If it weren't for that…it would be great. Almost like old times, with more booze. The past began soaking into my mind.

"Why did you stop liking me Spike?" I asked with a pout looking up at him.

"I didn't" his words were slightly slurred; he had three to my one.

"But you stopped spending time with me" I pointed out taking another swig of the warming drink.

"So did you" he added gazing down at me through glazed eyes.

"Buffy came back and it all went bad…not bad because she was back. That was good, once she actually came back when Willow almost destroyed the world" my thoughts were beginning to jumbled, I frowned "I guess we were just busy. I was trying to get her attention and growing up and shit and you were…" I searched for the right words "fucking her over in more ways then one"

He chuckled.

"You're in love with her," I said rearranging myself so I was kneeling with my arm on the back of the bench and the other holding the beer up to my mouth. His arm wasn't around me anymore and I was looking down at him.

He peered up at me. "I was obsessed with her" he clarified.

I paused, the alcohol made processing slow, "Was?" I echoed.

"I can proudly say that I am free" he said with a grin and sip of beer.

"Obsessed, not in love?" I frowned setting back on my feet.

His grin was gone now. "Robots, attempted rape that isn't love that's pure obsession" his words were garbled as he pointed at me, lifting a finger off his bottle.

"But you got your soul for her" I muttered finishing off my beer.

"Yeah" he pushed it aside and continued clearing his throat, his words became more clear "You can only supposedly love someone for so long when they don't love you back, hell even like you back" he popped another bottle and handed it to me. I took it.

"OK" I nodded; it made my brain slosh "so you're done with her"

"Yep"

I smiled brightly as I could drunk "Good 'cause you were so sad and scary and not good. I'm glad you're back or free or…whatever"

He beamed back at me "Me too Bit"

I went back to my previous position and he draped his arm around me again.


End file.
